where gold and fire abound
by wild wolf free17
Summary: Daemon AU - the Winter Soldier never knew what he was missing.
1. Chapter 1

Title: where gold and fire abound

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Donne

Warnings: implied child abuse (set before child abuse was a recognized thing); pre-canon

Pairings: none

Rating: PG  
>Wordcount: 500<p>

Point of view: third

Prompt: any/His Dark Materials. any. touching someone else's daemon

* * *

><p>When they were 9, after the first time Pa came home drunk and raised such a fuss, Bucky and Kenna snuck out the fire escape and went to Steve's. Kenna was a dark shadow above him, swooping through the air as a bat they didn't have a name for, guiding Bucky through the night. It was a struggle, jumping high enough to grab the fire escape outside Steve's apartment building, but Bucky finally managed it, and with Kenna clinging to him, they climbed.<p>

Ealga met them at the window; Bucky had known Steve was sick, but he wasn't even awake enough to hear them slip inside. "What's wrong?" Ealga asked Kenna, nosing at her; Ealga had been a beardie for a few weeks now.

Kenna landed on Ealga's shoulder and folded up her wings. "Pa was angry," she said.

Bucky's eyes went to the bed, where Steve hadn't even stirred. He didn't know what to do about Pa, about the money Pa wasted tonight, about the girls having to see Pa like that. He wanted to go to Ma – but Ma was dealing with Pa, and Grayson with Laurel. He couldn't comfort the girls when he needed –

He sighed, settling at the window, sinking down and letting his head rest on the sill. He ignored the tears, bringing one of his hands up to cover his eyes. Steve's breath was wheezing, and the daemons were whispering to each other, and he matched his own breaths to Steve's.

He startled when Ealga said, "Bucky." She was very close when he looked over, within touching range, and he carefully shifted his body away from her. Kenna was still on her head.

"Bucky," Ealga said again. She stepped closer, her whole body intent. "It's okay," she assured him, angling her head the way she did when wanted Steve to rest his hand between her ears. "Kenna and I talked it over."

His eyes went to the bed. "'s'not right," he said, "not without Stevie."

"I'm sayin' it's alright." Ealga tossed her head, her ears flopping. "You callin' me a liar, Buck?"

"No, I'd never do that," he said, looking at Kenna. "You sure this is alright?" he asked her.

Kenna said, "I promise." She fluttered her wings a bit. "Please, Bucky. We need this."

So he reached out a trembling hand, and Ealga stepped in close, and he started to cry the moment his palm touched her fur. She whined, pressing against his torso, and he curled his arms around her.

It felt – like warmth in every part of him when he'd been cold for so long, like knowing there'd be enough food for tomorrow and every day after, like there'd be money to get the girls the pretty things they deserved, and that dress Ma wanted, and Steve all the art supplies he'd ever eyed with longing. He buried his face in Ealga's neck, muffling his sobs in her fur, and cried and cried and cried till he fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: where gold and fire abound

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Donne

Warnings: talk of violence/torture/death

Pairings: none

Rating: PG  
>Wordcount: 1140<p>

Point of view: third

* * *

><p>He isn't ice. He has never been ice. He falls into a river and drags a dead man onto shore and he feels it sparking inside – the fire they tried to freeze.<p>

And he feels her – that empty place filling, and he hears coughing in the water, so with one dislocated shoulder and one barely-functioning not-arm _(weapon)_ he goes back into the river and drags a dead creature he lacks a word for.

"Badger," the water-logged creature mutters, collapsing beside the man (water dribbling from his mouth as he coughs himself back to life). "You used to give me such a hassle about it."

He looks at the man, at the badger, entire body aching, and the sparks ignite into fire.

He was a man, once. He was a man and they broke him until nothing was left, not even smoldering ash.

"Bucky," the badger says. "Where is Kenna?"

He does not answer. He turns and trudges away.

"Bucky!" the badger shouts after him. "When you get her, come home!"

_Kenna._ He can hear her now, roaring like fire.

…

Steve wakes up to Ealga under his hand and Galen sprawled over her back. "On your left," he mutters just to hear Galen scoff and see Sam smile.

And then he realizes – "How'd we get out of the water?" he asks Ealga, already knowing the only possible way.

"Bucky," she answers, whimpering a little.

"Did you – Kenna?" He can't even get all of the words out because it's too awful. Where was Kenna? She leaped after Bucky off that train –

Ealga whimpers again. Steve starts to sit up but Ealga gently leans into his belly and he gasps at the pain. "I want to start looking, too, Steven Grant Rogers," she says. "But you gotta be at one hundred percent and no less, else we'll just be a liability. You hear me?"

"Yeah," he sighs, letting his eyes close. "I hear ya."

…

Ealga was a golden eagle and Kenna a large brown dog when Steve and Bucky met. Together, Ealga and Kenna fought off the bullies' daemons while Bucky pulled the bullies away and then helped Steve to his feet as they ran.

"You always get into unfair fights?" Bucky asked him.

"I had 'em," Steve said, trying to catch his breath. "Didn't need no help."

Bucky just laughed at him.

Ealga landed on Kenna's back and started preening the fur on her head.

…

Steve curls around Ealga and whispers, "What do you think they did to her?"

Bucky's daemon is never mentioned in the file by name. Neither is Bucky. Asset 1 and Asset 2 – broken into shards and piece back together however Hydra wanted. Most of Bucky's breaking is detailed out, but whatever happened to Kenna either went unrecorded or is recorded somewhere else.

Steve wants to set things on fire, to beat someone unrecognizable – to have killed Hydra 70 years ago, the way he thought he already had.

He'd died happily because he thought he'd won, thought he'd be seeing Bucky again. "We're gonna get 'em, Steve," Ealga promises, nuzzling her head under his chin. "We're gonna tear 'em apart."

Sam packed earlier tonight. He and Galen are asleep, in preparation for their early start tomorrow.

Every time Steve closes his eyes, he sees Bucky above him, fist raised, eyes widening in horror.

"We're not stopping," Steve promises, "until there's nothing left but bones."

…

Kenna settled when Bucky was 13. Most people backed down pretty quickly after that.

Ealga settled half a year after Kenna and people didn't really know what to make of her, but even when Steve was getting whaled on, she never lost a fight. Bucky and Kenna usually showed up pretty quick anyway, and then the fights were done.

…

He follows her call to a long-forgotten facility in eastern Europe; it ceased to be useful at the end of the Cold War.

They could not store her as they did him. The ice never took her. Instead, they locked her in the bowels of a building and left her there.

How long has it been since he saw her? Touched her? Heard her?

But he sets foot inside the rotting building and he hears her roar.

…

His dislocated arm healed perfectly, of course. The not-arm glitches every few hours and it has begun to pain him. But it works well enough to rip off the cage door that was welded shut. Daemons cannot starve to death, or waste away due to dehydration, but they do need interaction. Company.

How long has it been since Kenna saw or spoke to anyone?

She slips out of the cage and stops in front of him, staring up as he stares down. He sinks to his knees, too scared to reach out, sure that he will hurt her, somehow.

He does not remember their childhood but he knows that she was ever the brave one. And she proves it by moving forward until her head hits his chest, whispering, "Bucky, I missed you."

His arms close around her. "I missed you even when I didn't know anything."

…

With Kenna beside him, he can no longer pass unnoticeable. She tells him stories of the man he used to be and he shaves his face, steals nicer clothes, styles his hair. There are multiple ways to hide in plain sight and the asset whispers inside while Bucky explains how to charm.

Kenna, Bucky, and the asset all help him piece together parts of himself into a new whole, and six months after he pulled a dead man out the river, four months after he found his soul, James and Kenna board a plane for Moscow, where rumor has it someone is hunting Hydra.

Kenna and James catch each other's eyes and share a toothy smile.

…

He is not ice. Kenna roars like fire and Ealga shouts, "Kenna!" over the gunshots and explosions. James hears, "Bucky!"

Steve's ally in the air gets clipped in the wing and a small body is dislodged, falling. Ealga screams, "Galen!" and tries to get to him, but Kenna is there, catching the creature in her mouth and then tossing him over her shoulder onto her back.

Kenna's snarls have all of the Hydra agents falling back and then James is amongst them, and it is over quickly.

It's over and James is looking at Steve, and Ealga is nuzzling at Kenna's chin, and Steve is looking at James.

(Steve's ally lands and his daemon rushes to him, and they both stay silent, waiting.)

"Hi," he finally says as Kenna settles down into the dirt, paws around Ealga.

"Hi," Steve says back, his entire body trembling as he tries not to cry. (James has Bucky's memories of that expression, going back to that very first day they met, lifetimes ago.)

* * *

><p>Ealga – noblebrave, honey badger

Kenna – born of fire, lioness

Galen – healer, meerkat


End file.
